


Butterflies

by Mizu7



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, More Fluff in these dark times, Rock Band AU, fangirl au, long distance relationship AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-26 01:58:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4985644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mizu7/pseuds/Mizu7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla is the lead singer of the "Silas Monsters" an up and coming band ready to take on the world and go on tour. Laura is just another fangirl in the crowd. A chance meeting that started out with an innocent request for an autograph spirals into text messages at 2am, phone calls for hours, and social media adventures.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as an ask on tumblr. That turned into a six month project as people asked for more. So here it is finally on Ao3! Enjoy!

“Nope….nope I can’t do it”

Laura turned on her heel and walked off, gripping the cd case close to her chest that felt heavier with each step. 

“Ooooh no you don’t” Lafontaine grabbed the back of her jacket before she was too out of reach and yanked her back. She yelped and stumbled, finding herself once again pressed against the wall.

The concert had finished hours ago, the venue was empty, though a few straggling fans drank in the parking lot, it was over. But Laura and LaFontaine were hidden in an alley, where just a few feet away was Laura’s favorite band member, by herself taking a smoke break behind the concert hall. 

“You’re not passing up this chance. She is right there, no one else is hording her. You’ve been waiting for this since you first heard about their tour” They said under a harsh whisper. 

Laura gulped, peaking out from the corner of the building. She was still there, the object of her obsessions for the past year. Lead singer and bass player of ‘The Silas Monsters’, they were a local and still an up and coming band but the moment that beautiful voice graced her ears, Laura made it a point to go to every single concert where it was within her power. They recently announced going out of state to spread the love of their music, this would be her last chance for awhile.

Carmilla hadn’t moved in awhile, leaning against the wall with a cigarette hanging from her lips as she stared up at the night sky. 

Laura vaguely recalled an interview where Carmilla found inspiration in the stars. Tonight’s concert was outside of the city, without all the bright lights, the stars were brighter than ever and from what she can tell, Carmilla couldn’t have looked more at peace.

The last thing she wanted to do was be that annoying fan. 

“Laf I can’t…” she says, but her eyes fell on the cd in her hands. Their first cd, still barely out of the garage and could only afford poorly printed goat logo in a paper stock sleeve. The edges were torn slightly, white fraying paper and a faded front, she loved this cd. A lot. 

They let out a long sigh,”Ok…” and put a hand on her shoulder,”Laura, I love you and I’m doing this because I’m your friend” 

Laura’s eyes went wide in horror, “LAF NO”

They grabbed a fist full of her jacket, turned her around and gave her a shove, out of the protect of the alley and into the sidewalk. Laura stumbled and nearly collided into the street light post, catching the pole just in time to avoid falling face first into the road. 

“O-ow..“ 

“Uh…hey are you ok?“ 

Laura froze, she physically felt her soul left her body right then and there. She knew that voice better than her own, and to hear it without the aid of a microphone or belting an amazing note; she wasn’t quite sure how she was still alive when her heart stopped functioning. 

She whirled around and was face to face with Carmilla, cigarette long gone and was most likely on her way back with her other band mates.

She was far more beautiful up close. 

Laura’s mouth opened in a panic,”YEP. FINE. TOTALLY FINE”

Smooth. 

Carmilla slowly nodded,”Ok….” and off she went. 

Laura was about to go find the nearest trashcan to jump into when Carmilla suddenly stopped dead in her tracks.

“Is this yours?” she asked. 

Her jaw dropped, heart still dead but now somewhere in her stomach as Carmilla bent down and swiped the cd that fell out of her hands moments ago. 

“I uh…y-yeah..uh…" 

The two stood there in silence, she could see Carmilla’s eyes scanning the cover and the edges of the old cd sleeve. 

A smile slowly tugged at the corner of her lips. 

“You have our first cd?” she asked, finally looking up, smile never faltering,“I haven’t seen this in ages…” her voice quieted, laughing at the poorly done art and even worse song titles. 

“God what were we thinking…these names are horrible…and that goat picture we just found on clip art”

Laura’s shoulder’s relaxed, eventually body functions returned to normal as she slowly adjusted being in the presence of her idol. Her heart however was a different story, now beating against her rib cage painfully. 

“Gotta start somewhere right?” she finds herself saying, which she almost regrets. Carmilla finally looked up at her, straight at her and nothing else. 

Her smile faded,”You…look familiar” 

Oh God no. 

“Oh jeez….I uh…" 

"You’ve been to a bunch of our concerts” Carmilla’s brow raised, a small smirk on her lips, clearly she was enjoying watching Laura’s squirm under her gaze. 

_All of them_

She wanted to say, how could she had been so stupid. Of course Carmilla was going to recognize her. She made it a point to be as close as possible, dead center for the best view.

“Look I know this may seem really…weird and kinda creepy but I swear I’m not a stalker or anything. It’s just…you guys are really amazing but I think you’re just a phenomenal performer. Your voice is amazing and I had no idea how cool the bass was until I saw you play it and I’ve been to every single one of your concerts and they’re all a little different and I know you’re going somewhere out of state and I couldn’t be more proud of your guys but I was wondering if I could ask for your autograph since I don’t know when I’ll ever see you again and oh my god that sounded really stalker-y didn’t it? and I’m rambling ok I’m done" 

Seconds passed in silence, Laura’s face burning red as Carmilla blinked. 

"Wow”

Laura’s shoulders sagged, “…I think…I’m going to go find that trashcan to throw myself in…” she groaned, burying her face in her hands as she began to walk off. 

Much to her complete and utter shock. She felt someone gently grab her hand. 

“Hey wait!” Carmilla was laughing, tugging her back,“Relax cupcake, you’re paying to see us. You're kind of the reason I can eat right now so I could care less if you’re a stalker, at least a you’re a cute one”

Oh boy. 

Laura looked at the ground for a moment, laughing nervously. 

“Do you always flatter your fans?" 

Oh my God where did that come from.

"Only the brave ones” she winked, sending Laura’s cheeks back into the red zone,“Got a pen?" 

Carmilla had never seen someone whip out a sharpie so fast in her life. 

"Got a name?" 

Her mouth went dry, this was actually happening, “…uh…..”

"I could put cupcake, you didn’t seem to mind earlier" 

She pouted, crossing her arms, “Hey I’m trying very hard right now don’t judge!”

Carmilla laughed, the cap popped as she prepped herself for an autograph.

She managed to spit out, “Laura”

"Laura" 

_Someone send help._

Carmilla steadied the cd sleeve in her hand and began to scribble, “Well Laura, if you’re as big of a fan you say you are, I bet you already have tickets for our next gig?” 

"Toronto. Next friday at 8” It was marked on her calendar since the tour dates were announced, all of the tour dates were. 

“Thatta girl” she put the cap back on and returned both,“ Come find me, I’m sure you’d want to meet the others?" 

Laura almost dropped the cd right then and there. 

"…f-for real?" 

She just smiled. Smiled at her. No one else. Just her. 

"See you then cutie" 

"…s-see you then…” she barely managed to cough out before Carmilla was out of sight.

Finally the heat from her face slowly died, she let out a long deep breath, calming herself from what she assumed to be what being high was like.

“So! How’d it go!?" 

Laura flinched as the silence was shattered like glass via her best friend's loud entrance, "Were you there the whole time?!" 

"Sorta. Kinda. I’ve been to a few autograph signings or whatever but that was a whole lot of something else" 

Laughing nervously she shrugged them off, beginning the trek back to the parking. No longer burning with the jitters and heart racing, the night air was dropping in temperature fast. Laura’s pulled her coat in tighter, cd case close to her chest. 

"Well? For real, do you feel better? How’d it go?” Laf poked and proded her shoulder which were promptly ignored. 

“It went…” she started, holding the cd out in front of her,“It……went…”

She stopped, frozen in place, Laf had to do a double take to not run into her. 

“Uh..dude?”

“….It….” Laura’s words died as she realized a bunch of numbers were written on the front of the cd sleeve followed by _“Text me cupcake”_ and Carmilla’s beautiful signature. 

“It…went…well…”


	2. Is This Real Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phone number and a request for a text. Laura finds herself with the ultimate dilemma. What to say to your rock band crush?

**[Hi]**

Delete.

**[Hello it’s me!]**

Delete delete

**[Hey there]**

Delete.

**[……Hey its me that creepy fangirl who now has your number for some reason!]**

Laura groaned in defeat, deleting the message quickly before tossing the phone aside and falling forward, landing face first on her bed. She grumbled a long string of muffled whines and self loathing. 

“Stupid…dumb..me…” she whimpered, looking up to her ceiling and asked,“Why me?" 

She should be getting ready, it won’t be long before LaFontaine arrived to pick her up for tonight’s concert, and this one, above all others was the most important 

It was the Silas Monsters’ last performance before going out of reach. Laura would follow them to the ends of the earth if she could. But being a broke college student and spending what was left of financial air on their entire Canada tour was already a strain on her wallet to follow them to New York. 

This was the last time she was going to see them. Danny, Kirsch, Will and…

Laura sighed, grabbing a handful of sheets she pulled herself up and off the bed to get ready. Leaving her phone behind, new text message now blank with Carmilla’s number at the ready at any moment. 

Life was so much simpler before last night. 

This time yesterday she was just an average fan, going to a concert and minding her own business. 

An autograph and phone number later, her mind hasn’t stopped racing, over thinking, and unnecessary panic turning her stomach. 

She had spent nearly an hour trying to figure out if she should text or not, and if so, what? What did this make them? Was she still a fan or was this an invite for something else? 

And what do you say to your all time favorite musician whom you’ve had a small crush on anyway. (Which didn’t help the possibility of this number giving being something else) 

Laura paused in front of the mirror. 

Normal, casual, comfy, like usual. 

Would Carmilla even recognize her? She did mention that Laura looked familiar.

 _But maybe she said that about everyone?_

There were no details here and it was driving her crazy. 

"Ugh…just…relax! Be..calm…” she huffed at her reflection, feeling a sudden impulse take control she marched right over to her bed and swiped her phone. Fingers flying at record speed and slamming the send button before any change of mind set in. 

**[Break a leg -Cupcake]**

Three seconds passed before the color drained from her face, she dropped her phone like it had caught fire in her grasp. 

“OH MY GOD DID I JUST-" 

Bzzzt Bzzt

Laura stopped breathing,”…no…way…” 

She slowly leaned in, staring down at her phone that glowed as a notification popped up. There was a reply. 

**[If it’s anything like last weeks show, yeah that won’t be a problem] - Carmilla 4:34 pm**

She could hear Carmilla’s voice as she read the text silently to herself. 

Somewhere in Toronto. Right this very moment. Carmilla was texting her.

A small grew on her face. Recalling a not so fond memory of a spontaneous mosh pit at a concert last week. Someone did in fact, break an arm. 

Scooping the phone up, she quickly replied. 

**[I still have bruises] - Laura 4:35 pm**

**[You still coming?] - Carmilla 4:35pm**

**[Come hail or high water] - Laura 4:36pm**

**[See you then] - Carmilla 4:36pm**

**[Have a good show] - Laura 4:40pm**

**[Thanks cutie] - Carmilla 4:41pm**

Laura couldn’t hear Laf honking impatiently outside over her own squeals.

“Dude….”

“….Ok you can give the phone back now”

“But….Dude….”

Holding the iphone tight in their grip, Laf leaned back, keeping their eyes on the screen with their hand up, keeping it’s owner at bay as they scrolled through the conversation between her and Carmilla, “Laura these are…like not even a minute apart”

“Laf come on don’t over analyze this!”

It was then the science major slowly turned to look at Laura,”…really?”

“Shut up” she said, her face scrunching into annoyance as she swiped her phone back from their hands.

Laura stared at the bright screen for a moment, re-reading the conversation for the hundredth time that night.

“Come on, you can’t tell me there something going on. She is totally into you”

She quickly pocketed the phone, ignoring the massive grin on Laf’s face and the eyebrow wiggle.

“Laf get real…maybe I just caught her on a good night or something”

That did little to waver the wiggling brows. She let out a groan, throwing her head back against the seat behind her, staring at the ceiling covered in rows of lights, all pointed to the same direction.

She can vaguely make out the conversations going on in her moment of silence; first time concert goers, discussion of favorite songs, the ultimate food debate after the show. It was a sold out show, much like the past few she had been to.

“Laf look around here” she said finally, picking her head she waved her arm around, a little over dramatic but proving a point as they, in fact, looked around the venue.

“I’m just a face in the crowd…I’m nothing special”

Within two seconds of words leaving her lips, a hand whipped out of nowhere and smacked her arm. Laura curled back into her seat, letting out a pathetic whine, clutching her arm as if she were shot.

“Oh my God my mosh pit bruise why would you do that-”

“First of all, don’t you EVER say that ever again. You’re awesome, and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot. Secondly, rock stars don’t just give out their numbers to random people”

Love is pain they say. Laura whimpered under Lafontaine’s stern but loving gaze. Sitting up in her seat, she sighed. Looking over the three rows of heads to the stage, now empty and lifeless. But not for long.

“You don’t know that…besides…I don’t want to get my hopes of some crazy fangirl fantasy coming true” her words trailed off into a soft mumble, secretly hoping it went under her friend’s radar.

It didn’t however, but just as Laf let out a short bark of a laugh, the lights dimmed and the girls began to scream.

“One last time, it’s been a fun summer though” they said, standing up as the red curtain rose, revealing instruments, sitting patiently on stage.

Laura stretched as she stood up, just in case of another random mosh pit, at least she would be limber and ready to run for it if she needed to. 

“Sure has!” her voice increased in volume as the screaming and cheers of excitement became progressively louder, “Thanks for tagging along the entire time! And for introducing me! ”

“Hey, if I was going down, I needed to drag someone with me!”

As if it couldn’t get any louder, the members of the Silas Monsters rock band walked on stage and the venue exploded.

Danny the guitarist calmly strapped herself in, a small smile gracing her lips as she looked out into the crowd of cheering fans.

Kirsch the drummer just couldn’t get enough of it, he waved and flipped his sticks around like a middle schooler who learned to juggle for the first time. Laura laughed, seeing the vast improvement of his juggling skills. At the beginning of their concert days, he would lose sticks in mid set from showing off.

On the flip side there was Will on keyboard mixing, he was usually pretty quiet unless around Kirsch but had a mysterious air about him that made him very popular with girls.

Then there’s Carmilla, taking her sweet time strapping into a beautiful red bass, with silver edging, from the cheapest seats one would have mistaken it for a battle axe. Feeling satisfied, she turned on her heel and slowly made her way to the single mic stand at the center of it all.

“Hello nerds” was all she said, her beautiful silky voice instantly commanding the room to scream in response.

The concert began, much like any other, a popular song first, random others with the occasional sarcastic banter between bandmates. Kirsch still intent on doing a back flip while tossing his stick in the air, Danny convinces him not to for the sake of the tour though Will continued to be the enabler, he stopped after a single glare from Carmilla. Much to the amusement of the fans.

For a moment, things were back to normal. Laura completely forgot she was texting the very woman on stage right now, singing like an angel but fingers making her guitar roar. They jumped, clapped and sang along to every song just like everyone else.

At least until Laura noticed something.

It was a common occurrence to have solos in their songs, words disappearing for a chance for instruments to sing instead. It was in these moments that she noticed Carmilla was looking out into the crowd rather than what she should be doing. She was looking for something.

Or…

“Oh no…no no no….please no…don’t do this to me…” she whimpered to herself, her head banging and jumping brought to a halt as what she suspected became reality.

She found her.

Carmilla scanned the first few rows, her eyes narrowed and focused until they laid right at Laura.

She smiled.

“Oooooh my God…” she gulped, frozen in an eye lock with the person of ultimate affection in the room, staring right at her. Somehow, out of the other 500 fans in the room right now, she found her. At this point, she was more surprised she even remembered what she looked like to find her in the first place. 

Carmilla winked at her before returning to the mic and continuing the song. Every once and awhile making not so subtle smiles and glances towards her.

Laura clutched her heart, hoping to find a beat of some kind but she could no longer tell the difference between her own beat and the low thumps of the bass.

Meanwhile Lafontaine just could not stop laughing.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU”

“SHUT UP LAF JUST…SHUT UP”


	3. Best Day EVer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was serious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a short one, had to split it up weird for the transfer. But the remaining chapters will be much longer! Thank you for your support!

**[Great show tonight] Laura 11:14pm**

“That’s it are you kidding me?” 

Laura shrunk behind her phone and deeper into the passenger seat but wrinkled her face in a soft glare at her nosey partner. Laf grinned, hovering over empty soda cans in the center cup holders, watching the conversation unfold. 

“I’m trying to be cool here!” she hissed under her breath, as if Carmilla could actually hear her. 

**[Are you still here? I wasn’t kidding about meeting the others] Carmilla 11:16pm**

They froze.“Oh my God she was serious”

Seconds passed and another appeared. 

**[Your ninja ginger friend can come too] Carmilla 11:17pm**

Lafontaine’s jaw hit the floor, “OH MY GOD” 

Laura had never texted faster in her life. 

**[Where?] Laura 11:17pm**

**[Back door, lady with crazy red hair. She knows.] Carmilla 11:18pm**

Without another word, the two scrambled out of the car and sprinted back to the arena. 

**[ON OUR WAY] Laura 11:18pm**

It took the two a little time to figure out just where said back door was, as there were many. After begging from security guards, who were concerned for the two, out of breath and on the verge of panic in their eyes, eventually they were pointed in the right direction.

In the distance stood a lone woman with the brightest and curliest head of red Laura had ever seen in her life. Laf, however, upon spotting the woman, stopped dead in their tracks. 

She slowed to a halt, realizing she was not being followed. Laf’s eyes were wide and color drained from their face.

Before she could ask what was wrong, soft words fell out of their mouth.

“Laura…do you believe in God?” they asked gently. 

She blinked slowly, looking back at the opportunity of a lifetime to meet their idols then back at Laf who appeared to have seen a ghost.

“This is by far, the weirdest time to be having an existential crisis” 

Without removing their gaze from the red headed guard, they reached out and grabbed Laura by the shirt, pulling her close with the intense gaze of a man on a mission from a higher being.

“That…is the girl who got away” 

She knew this story. She recalled it being told or referenced randomly during their friendship. But like most tales muttered under breath repeatedly she assumed it was just a myth. 

Yet there she was, the beautiful red headed unicorn of Lafontaine’s legends.

Laura summed up the long story, just to be sure they were on the same page.   
“The girl you’ve been in love with your entire high school career and never got the backbone to ask her out and you never saw her again?” 

The grip on her shirt tightened and finally, they tore their eyes away to look straight into Laura’s soul. 

“This is the best day of my fucking life” they said, pent up of years worth of frustration and regret flashed before their eyes.

For a moment in almost frightened Laura but Laf let go and marched right over to the woman with a confidence she had never seen before. 

This was going to be the best day of her fucking life too.

“Hello! You must be…” 

Immediately the red head’s words died on her lips as she laid eyes on Lafontaine, a flash of recognition and she gasped,”Oh my God, Susa…no no wait…Lafontaine right? I haven’t seen you since high school how are you?! Wow love the hair” 

Laura stood back and watched the two embrace; she had never seen someone so happy to be engulfed in red curly masses. 

She didn’t miss the massive grin on their face, or the look of metal preparedness as they stepped back and kept their cool composure strong, “It’s great to see you Perry….which….by the way what are you doing here?”

“Oh! I’m the Manager” 

And the cool was gone. 

They both lost how many times their jaws were left hanging open in shock tonight.

“What”

She let out a polite laugh, as if she received this reaction often. 

Judging by her appearance and presence alone, Laura knew this was probably the last person on this planet to manage a rock band. 

Also judging by Laf’s face, which was now white and slowly returning to dangerously red. The love of their life was a rock star manager.

Laura was impressed at their ability to keep it together. 

“Yeah….someone has to make sure they eat…and speaking of which….You must be…uh.cupcake?”

If there is a God, they find pleasure to finding ways to make Laura’s life more complicated. 

She slowly brought her heads up to her face, despite knowing well that she was hiding her red face from no one.

“Are…you kidding….” she sighed,”….yes that’s me…” 

When she lifted her head, Perry the Manager held the backstage door open for them, “Shall we?”


	4. Starstruck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Baby cause you blow my heart I'm so_
> 
>  
> 
> _Starstruck_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make up for the tiny chapter before, here have a thing and have a good day <3

Upon entering, Laura and Laf waddled close behind Perry, finding it difficult to breathe let alone comprehend that this was a thing that was actually happening. Past the hallway, they entered a simple living room looking area, pizza, beer and trash littered the floor as if it were their own home.

Kirsch and Danny were in the middle deciding who was faster at open a beer can with their teeth while Will scarfed the last two pizza slices, together in taco form of course. 

Carmilla, however, was found lounging on the recliner, legs enclosed in leather pants draped off the side of the armrest. Her fist jammed into her cheek as she kept her attention on her phone, brows furrowed impatiently; waiting.

The very instant they stepped foot inside and were caught in her peripheral, Carmilla’s demeanor flipped like a light switch.

For the tenth time that night, she smiled right at Laura.

“Cutie, Good of you to make it” 

As if it required the alpha to say her blessings, the rest of the band immediately stood up and introduced themselves to the two fans. Standing awkwardly in the break room of their favorite band. 

“Best fucking day ever”

The duration of their time spent with the Silas Monsters consisted of autographing literally everything they had on hand. At one point Kirsch just started scribbling on Lafontaine’s car keys and they couldn’t had been happier. Taking close to a hundred selfies and photos that were all uploaded to their twitter fan page and Laura’s facebook for gloating purposes.

Bets were placed on who could chug and crush the most beer cans on their head between Danny and Kirch.

Lafontaine won, who bet on Danny, and Will now owed them twenty bucks and a plate of hot wings at some point in the future.

Laura couldn’t have asked for a better evening with her idols.

Granted the lead singer didn’t participate much beside a snide comment here and there. Yet it didn’t feel strange at all, the others didn’t seem bothered by her lack of participation nor did they egg her on to join in. They seemed to content knowing she was sitting back, watching like an amused feline from her perch above the rest.

 

“You are tiny and adorable” Danny said, her words slurred slightly, barely teetering over the edge of tipsy. Laura was now painfully aware of who she fell in love with first when discovering the band as the red head pat her on the head. 

Kirsch let out a goofy laugh, “Can we keep her?” 

Laura remained utterly still as the two tallest and nearly drunk rock stars sandwiched her on the couch, not that she minded of course, “Yes please, I will fit in your luggage take me with you” 

Carmilla’s brow raised in slight interest, “Tempting”

“Sorry guys, that’s illegal” Perry called out quickly as Kirsch was half way to throwing the small girl over his shoulder,” Maybe when you’re big famous rock stars that could get away with littering backstage and breaking the tv”

A silence fell over the room, as if being scolded by mom, eyes slowly turned to the drummer who gulped.

“….I almost did a backflip though….” he mumbled.

Perry clapped her hands twice,”It’s getting late and we have a plane to catch. Clean up and let’s head out.”

With a reluctant groan, the band stood up, slowly gathering their trash.

But Carmilla had different plans, glancing down at a watch that clearly did not exist, she let out a long very fake sigh. 

“Ooooh hey look at that, it’s smoke break time” she hopped out of her seat and made a beeline for the door. 

“Fuck you Karnstein” Danny growled, now arms full of crushed beer cans. 

Laura’s fit of laughter at the entire situation was brought to a halt as Carmilla grabbed a hold of her hand and dragged her along as she walked by, “Come on cutie”

“Wait what- yeah ok?!”

“Have fun!” Laf called out, waving just before following Perry. Something about a tour of the stage was mentioned before Laura was too far to hear. 

 

The door swung to a close behind her, leaving her and Carmilla alone once again.

For a moment they remained unmoving. Her hand released some time ago but she didn’t notice. She was too focused on the woman before her.

It was well after midnight, this place that was once crawling with fans and security was now gone, leaving silence and the cold air with them. A dramatic difference from the small crowded and very loud backstage room they were just in.

She silently watched Carmilla close her eyes and take in a deep breath. Embracing the cold and silence before letting it out in the form of warm fog from her lips. Her shoulders sagged and muscles relaxed. Decompressing.

Laura gulped. She might have been staring for too long.

“So” she started, eyelids fluttering open back to the real world,”What’s with your ginger following my ginger like a lost puppy?”

 

“Long story short? Laf wants a second chance. Old high school crush”

She laughed, taking several long strides to perch herself against the wall. Laura was quick to follow.

 

“Aaaaah, well I hope it goes well. God knows Perry needs to get laid and calm the hell down”

Laura let out a small laugh, leaning against the wall next to Carmilla the two fell into a strangely comfortable silence.

The stars weren’t as bright as they were the first time they met. Their last performance was closer to the city, busy street lights clouding the lights of space. But they were there. A handful of specks powering though man made light, ensuring something to be seen by those who felt inspired by them.

“It’s nice out” Laura mumbled gently, stealing quick glances at the rock star next to her.

Rock star.

That’s who she was and yet right now, she felt so…normal. Comfortable. It wasn’t the first time she forgot that just a few hours ago this amazing and talented woman was on stage in front of hundreds screaming her name.

Carmilla smiled,“…wonder if I’ll see any stars when I’m out in the big city”

“….you nervous?” 

She sighed, shifting her weight, somehow finding her dirty boots more interesting at the moment, “…a little bit. I mean…I guess our entire future of making it big kinda rides on this tour so…you know, no big deal”

If it weren’t so quiet, she would have missed the shaking uncertainty in her voice. 

“I’ll miss you”

Carmilla’s eye whipped back to her just as Laura’s heart lurched out of her chest.

“Like …y-you know us!” she laughed in a panic, her arms flailed, gesturing to the entire country she was speaking for,” We, I mean we will miss you. We the fans…of…canadia…” 

It was too late, Carmilla’s brow raised in amusement at her suffering and smiled, “I’ll miss you too”  
Once again they fell into a comfortable silence, but only for a moment. Laura’s leg began to bounce nervously. This would be the last time she would see her again for eight months if the tour is successful. Who knows if she would receive the same treatment then or if she would even be remembered.

With a huff, she pushed herself from the wall to face her, “….Carmilla…I have…the world’s biggest and dumbest favor to ask. Please don’t laugh or judge” 

“I promise nothing”

Laura slipped her phone out of her pocket, clicking the on button to reveal the camera function at the ready. 

“….selfie?” she squeaked nervously. 

Carmilla stared at the phone, then up at the girl, promptly giving her a heart attack. Carmilla was never one for photos, there was an entire forum dedicated to theories on whether or not she was a vampire.

Yet her eyes lit up and smiled, “I am impressed by your willpower” 

Laura let out a lung full of air she didn’t realize she was holding in, “You don’t realize how hard it has been”

Letting the fangirl bubble out a bit, she giggled and hopped back against the wall as Carmilla scooted closer. The camera flipped to selfie mode as she lifted her phone up, the screen switched, revealing Carmilla leaning against her shoulder and Laura’s bright red cheeks and massive smile.

Several pictures were snapped. Just a few to get by but mainly if it went on any longer Carmilla would be able to hear her heart thumping out of her chest. Despite being comfortable around her, it still didn’t erase the fact that she was still very much under the big fat gay crush category.

Laura’s fingers flashed across the screen, posting to every social media platform she had, as well as sending it directly to her room mate with a smiley emoticon, “Hehehe….eat your heart out Betty”

She hit send just as Carmilla shoved a half empty packet of cigarettes in her back pocket,gently placing one between her teeth. For a split second they made eye contact. 

“Do you mind or-”

Without another word, Laura’s hand drove straight into her pockets and fished out a small disposable lighter. With practiced fingers, the small flame sprang to life.

“I uh, have a lot of friends who uh. Yeah…” her words trailed off, she didn’t mean to be an enabler. Her father used to and it just became second nature to have one on hand.

Luckily Carmilla didn’t request a reason but apart of her was wishing she did instead of looking at her dead in the eye with that stupid amazing grin while lighting her cigarette. Laura gulped, hoping she wasn’t noticing her hand shake slightly. 

“Thanks cupcake” she says all cool like, very clearly enjoying the new coloration on her cheeks.

“…you…enjoy doing that don’t you” she grumbled, looking away in hopes of regaining her breathing pattern. 

She just laughed,“You would too”

Laura rolled her eyes, gently pushing her shoulder, having no real strength to actually strike her for making her blush so hard. Carmilla barely moved but chuckled at the motion.

Once again they fell into a comfortable silence, which led to eyes wandering on Laura’s part.

Sure enough there it was again, that look of complete calm.

Carmilla let out a long sigh, watching the puff of smoke trail into the night. Just as relaxed as the first night they met.

However this time, she fought past her hesitation. Gritting her teeth, Laura blurted out, “Why did you give me your number?” 

Her eyes snapped open at this. Laura was almost sorry for breaking her out of her serenity but this question had plagued her days since it happened.

Carmilla remained silent for a moment, brows furrowed in confusion as she plucked the cigarette from her lips to answer, “I was under the impression that giving ones number to an attractive lady was a common first step to courting?”

Oh.

Oh no.

“……so…when you were…flirting…you were actually…flirting with me?”

Silence.

Carmilla’s cigarette burned silently, its tendrils wafting between them. 

“Wow you are so lucky you are pretty” 

 

And once again, her mouth opened and out came the words.

 

“Look I just…didn’t know if that was a common thing you did for fans or something or whatever, and I’m just a fan and a fan that really likes your stuff. But let be real here you are amazing and there literally hundreds of people at your concerts so I was really confused as to why I mean I’m really nothing special. I just go to your concerts and sing your songs in the shower I mean…yeah….I just didn’t….or I mean….I still don’t understand…why…” she slowed upon realizing how long she had been going without taking a breath.

Carmilla’s eyes narrowed at her for a moment, taking in her words that were strung along too quick and too long to understand immediately.

She took a quick puff before beginning.

“Well if you’re looking for a more defined reasons other than I think you’re cute, you said something I haven’t heard before”

Now Laura was confused.

“You said you were proud of me”

Oh…?

“I’ve been called a lot of things. Badass, amazing, awesome, leather queen was a weird one, inspirational, the list goes on” 

Laura snorted, “Watch it, your head is getting bigger than Will’s”

Carmilla took a moment to breathe as she nearly choked on a puff of smoke to laugh, “The point is…I guess…its kinda nice to hear…someone is cheering us on. It’s been rough getting to where we are now and…ah you know”

Her words trailed off into a burst of mumbles, suddenly Laura didn’t feel so nervous, now catching a glimpse of a blush spreading across Carmilla’s face in embarrassment. 

“It’s ok, you don’t have to delve into the realm of a corny inspirational story. I get it” 

“Good cause this badass reputation is hard to build and easy to go down in flames” 

She raised her right hand,“I won’t tell a soul”

“Good” taking one last deep inhale, she dropped what was left of the stick on the concrete, crushing it under her boot as she walked past. Laura is pretty sure it’s illegal in some countries to be that hot.

“We should probably go back in, they probably finished already” 

Laura was quick to follow, this still beside her, “One of these days they’re not going to let you escape”

 

She laughed and shook her head, giving Laura a playful nudge with her elbow, “Not today though”

Her face burned, she can’t recall a time where her cheeks were hurting from smiling so much. The nerves and jitters from hanging out with her favorite musician disappeared though now she was left with the mad racing of her heart against her chest now being able to have a civil conversation with her crush. As of now, she’s not sure which one is worse.

Carmilla opened the door back into the break room, the sound of techs moving things around and Perry barking orders in her motherly tone awaited them. Kirsch was spotted at the end of the hall with his bags and drumstick pouch, Danny arguing with Will as they teamed up to carry his massive keyboard while balancing her guitar on her shoulder.

Laura sighed,”So…I know I said it already…but…I’m going to miss you”

Standing in the doorway, procrastinating the inevitable, Carmilla shrugged but Laura didn’t miss the sad smile for a moment, “I have no problem hearing it again…Kinda wish I met you sooner”

No. No no don’t end this on a sad note.

Laura bit her lip, pushing herself out of her fear she forced a smile out of her nerves.

“Y-you..know…you’re welcome to..text me if you’re-”

She stopped speaking as Carmilla leaned in and kissed her cheek.

Then continued, wide eyed and bright red.

“…-if…you’re…uh…y-you know….bored or something…”

The way she smiled at her would be burned into her mind for the rest of her life.

“I think I’d like that very much”


	5. Hey There Delilah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _What's it like in New York city? I'm a thousand miles away but tonight you look so pretty Yes you do_
> 
>  
> 
> _Time Square don't shine as bright as you_
> 
> _I swear it's true._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half of this chapter never existed before, while re reading this old story to transfer over to AO3 I felt like there was a big part of their lives was missing. Things that were briefly mentioned but never fulled explored that I felt like was a crime to keep from you guys. So let's get into it shall we?

_BZZZT BZZZT_

Laura awoke with a short gasp as her phone vibrated against her face. A brief moment of awareness came crashing down as her vision cleared past the foggy blur of numbers on her clock reading 2:13 am

She groaned, pulling her blankets over her head. Through her sleepy haze she brushed it aside as another facebook request to play a game, she sold her soul once and had no plans of doing it again, not that it stopped Laf from trying to rack up points.

_BZZZT BZZZT_

Or maybe one of these days she’ll remember to remove the ‘remind me of a new text’ function. But if she did remember that, she would have no need for that setting in the first place.

Grabbing her phone, she growled at the offending thing, unlocking it she let out a long yawn and forced her eyes back open. The bright white screen flashed through the darkness as if it were the sun, temporarily blinding her she hissed, holding her face while blindly adjusting the brightness to something more comfortable. Blinking past the dots before her eyes, the words of a brand new text became comprehensible.

**[What are you studying?] - Carmilla**

A splash of cold water to the face in the form a picture; a selfie of her and Carmilla popped up alongside four little words. Laura sat up, suddenly becoming awake and her eyes miraculously healed, she stared at the text stupidly for a few moments. Silently praying for this to be real and not another fangirl dream, she stopped having those months ago and this was not the time to have them return with a vengeance.

**[Oh wait….isn’t it like…2 am right now?] - Carmilla**

Her fingers flashed across the touch screen in record time. Which of course, the first several were deleted quickly as indecision crept in. She had to play it cool. Not everyday your rock star crush and idol text you at the crack of dawn.

**[bingo. good morning] - Laura**

Laura nodded to herself, congratulating herself for being so smooth.

**[What in God's name are you doing up so late. And such a quick response too] - Carmilla**

Of course she would notice the minor details, Laura's cheeks flared at the response. She could practically feel that smug grin on that beautiful face. It’s frustrating really. Taking a deep breath, Laura slipped back into her blankets, shoving her yellow pillow under her pits and tucked underneath her chin she began to reply.

**[shouldn't i be asking you that?]**

**[why are you asking about my life at 2am]**

**[not that i mind] - Laura**

**[Flight was cancelled. You said I could text when I was bored. And here we are] - Carmilla**

**[The others not entertaining enough for you?] - Laura**

Seconds passed and no response. A brief moment of panic flashed over her face, maybe she was being too casual with her? She shook her head. No, that couldn’t be it. If anything, Carmilla seemed to enjoy it when she had a bite like response. In which, Laura bit down on her pillow as she stared at the low lit screen, waiting not so patiently for a response. The last thing she needed was the fall asleep before Carmilla responded, then not reply because she was unconscious then Carmilla never text her again and- Her panic was subdued as a text bubble appeared with three dots, indicating she was replying.

Instead of a text however, she received a picture.

Dogs from California could hear her squeals muffled against her pillow, Carmilla the lead singer of the Silas Monsters just sent her a photo.

But not just any photo.

Oh no.

This was a photo of Kirsch, wrapped up in a blanket far too small for him, with his head against Danny’s shoulder, sleeping soundly, and said tall red head was also out like a light and if Laura zoomed in close enough she could barely make out a wad of black hair in Danny’s lap. She assumed it to be Will, his body was covered in a large blanket, blending in with the airport chairs. Then there was Carmilla, in the corner of the photo with her thick sunglasses on and an amused eyebrow raise just above the rims.

**[Losers] - Carmilla**

Laura wasted no time in saving the picture immediately.

**[I’m kind of jealous] - Laura**

Another pause in reply. Burying her head further into her pillow she let out a long groan before staring at the screen awaiting a response once more. It was like giving your middle school crush your phone number and learning how to text all over again. Waiting and worrying every moment that passed by in between each message.

**[If you want me to let you sleep I can] - Carmilla**

“Like hell I’m going back to bed now” she said to no one in particular as her fingers flew across the touch screen.

**[Too late now. You have my complete attention] - Laura**

**[Oh, ok cool ]**

**[so]**

**[What are you studying?] - Carmilla**

Laura didn’t sleep that night. Neither did Carmilla.

**[Are you fucking serious?] - Carmilla**

**[I'm surprised, didn't you used to be active on the forum for awhile?] - Laura**

[Yeah but that was us fishing for any kind of compliment we could get. Then we got more shows and gigs and then got busy, I haven't been online in months] - Carmilla

Laura lounged in her usual seat in front of her laptop, casually scrolling through several tabs of her various social media accounts. Today, while Carmilla was on a bus to her next stop on the tour, she decided to ask about her fanbase. Who better to ask than Laura, who claimed to be there from the garage band beginning. Unfortunately, it wasn't sunshine and rainbows like it used to be. Laura flipped through old posts of fans arguing about the meaning behind lyrics and who loved who more, it was all childish but had serious repercussions.

 **[It's gotten pretty bad. Elitist "I knew them before they were cool" people on the forum. A couple of guys were bullied off, a few random anons started posting after your charity gig] - Laura**  

It was a charity to support LGBTQ youths, the evils of the internet crawled out of the shadows and attacked every forum and every fan page. Laura made it her life goal to shut them all down but it was hard work, destroying and banning trolls from the depths of cyberspace by herself. At first she had no intention of telling Carmilla what was happening but it didn't feel right to lie, and maybe even she would get a shout out to make everyone calm down. It was wishful thinking but either way, she needed to know.

**[Wow, you're all nuts] - Carmilla**

**[Not all of us....but yeah most of us] - Laura**

Laura set her phone down as a few seconds of silence passed, the soon to be rock star was in the middle of the most important tour of her life, it was understandable if there were random bouts of silence. Hopping from one car to another to a train or bus or plane. Setting up, rehearsal, performing, autographs etc. She was busy and Laura had to quickly get over the fact that their texting was not a priority. This however, was not the case today as her phone buzzed.

**[You're Laura2theLetter aren't you?] - Carmilla**

Laura stared at her phone for a moment before slowly looking up at her laptop, where according to the forum, one other person signed in as a guest very conveniently as Carmilla responded.

**[......did you seriously just log in right now to find me] - Laura**

**[Not hard to find the forum mod] - Carmilla**

Laura slowly placed her phone down, to free both hands so she could bury her face in them. Carmilla was somewhere in the US, flipping through her fan pages and sites only to realize that she was in charge of nearly every single one.

**[Oh my God...I must seem like a creep to you or something...just pretend we never met and delete my number from your phone] - Laura**

**[What? No way are you kidding? I feel much better after formally meeting the moderator of my fan page. I'd rather it be you than anyone else] - Carmilla**

Laura stared at the newest text for a moment, a blush rising to her cheeks and the biggest and dorkiest of smiles growing on her face. She cleared her throat and rotated her shoulders, as if she truly was responding in a cool and collected manner. 

**[Really? Oh good, now that I have your blessing I will be more than happy to keep you updated and knock down any rumors I come across] - Laura**

**[It's like having my own social media publicist. If things go well I just might hire you] - Carmilla**

The cool and collected was gone, the phone flew out of her grasp and luckily landed on her bed as she jumped up and screamed up to the high heavens. After a little dance, she dove for her phone, flopping on her bed with her legs kicking playfully in the air. 

**[I would be honored] - Laura**

**[What hotel are you staying in?] - Laura**

**[Cutie...we just talked about this stalking business. Do not tell me it was secretly you] - Carmilla**

Said stalker incident did not last long, Laura noticed creepy looking photos from the roof of another building, snapping shots of the band while they were in their hotel room. She reported them immediately and the guy was apprehended. For such a small name band, their "fans" were interesting to say the least. 

**[Oh God no, you like sushi right? I found a few places you should try out if you're close by. A "Must do in Los Angeles" according to many websites] - Laura**

Within the course of an hour, an address was given of a local japanese sushi and ramen place. Laura came out of the shower to several texts messages containing photos of the band at the restaurant, happily drinking and slurping down soup. Clothes forgotten, Laura sat at the edge of her bed with just a towel and the dumbest smile known to man on her face. They actually took her suggestions to heart and went out.

Her phone buzzed as the official facebook page (highly encouraged by Laura to start) was updated with a photo, the very same one that was sent to Laura personally and first she noted. 

_"This place was recommended by a friend. Now Kirsch in the process of getting his ass kicked by a bowl of raging hot soup"_

There was Kirsch, eyes full of tears and cheek burning red as he downed the spicy challenge level of ramen while the others stood beside him, cheering him on, except for Carmilla who seemed to enjoy being in the corner of the photo with her sunglasses on and perked eyebrow signiture selfie style. 

**[This was the best decision of our life, thank you cupcake <3 ] - Carmilla**

More squealing and sobbing was heard from Laura's dorm room. 

**[Hey....are you ok?]**

Laura sat silently, doing her best to continue through her blog but it did little to distract her from the lack of activity happening on her phone. For the first time since the tour began, there was radio silence. She's a busy rock star doing her business but Carmilla would at least send a quick text or update the facebook page with a silly photo, anything really. But after her latest performance in Utah, there was nothing. Laura was already the luckiest fan in the world, to be able to communicate to the lead singer, the last thing she wanted to do was bombard Carmilla with useless texts about her not texting. She wasn't obligated to. But there was something particularly strange about this.

After hours of debating, typing out full paragraphs only to erase them later, she finally cracked and sent a single message.

Not five seconds later there was a response.

**[Can I call?]**

Laura sat still, utterly and completely still as if the phone would bite her if she made even the slightest of movement.

Texting was easy, she could be sobbing uncontrollably or making a fangirl mess of herself and still be able to type out a collected reply. But this? Calling there was nothing to hide.

**[The others aren't helping. They're just nodding stupidly and I just need someone to talk to]**

Something triggered, somewhere in the back of her mind, Laura's instinct kicked in as her idol called out to her in a time of need. She hit the call button before another plea was created.

It rang once.

"H-hey"

A short pause nearly pushed Laura's heart over the edge,"....hey...it's...wow really nice to hear you again" then there it went, the most vital organ in her body began to thunder in her chest, threatening to explode as the beautiful voice that was always plugged into her ears and on repeat for months now spoke softly to her once more.

"Same here" she managed to choke out, spinning herself around and away from her laptop, hoping the various posters and photos surrounding her computer would not remind her of who she is talking to. Her bouncing leg told her very quickly it was not working.

"S-so...um....are....are you ok?" 

Carmilla let out a long sigh,"No....no I'm not...and..." she paused, Laura could just barely make out a faint click of a door being close shut on the other end,"I'm going to rant, I don't want to but I need to, it's probably something stupid for all I know but I just to tell someone who won't just dismiss it"

"You can talk to me, lay it on me. Who has upset the leather queen this day?"

Laura sat in her chair across two countries from the soon to be rock star of her generation and listened to her. Not sing a beautiful ballad, but to rage.

Not ten minutes after the show had ended, Carmilla found herself flipping over tables and screaming as reviews and local news articles were posted about the visiting band. To say they weren't good was an understatement.

" 'Cliche punks'?! 'Nothing but noise' ' Who the fuck says that anymore!?"

Laura's investigative instinct kicked in, Carmilla's voice echoed awkwardly through the phone, movement and the shift of a rug and possibly a swift kick to something solid and porcelain. She was pacing in the hotel bathroom, fuming.

She wanted to say so much, to say how terrible or how wrong and why would anyone say things like that in the first place about the freaking Silas Monsters, the most inspirational and fastest moving chart toppers right now.

Carmilla kept going, her anger knowing no bounds or signs of stopping. Laura quickly tucked the phone between her face and shoulder as she spun around and her fingers flew across the keyboard.

She was right. Who would say things like that?

Within seconds, Laura had several tabs open of the very reviews Carmilla was tearing apart about, the source of said reviews and the accompanying articles.

Oh.

That's why.

"Hey Carm-

"I swear to God, I didn't drop out of college to chase after this stupid dream to be shut down by some idiot calling me a slut in public jesus fucking-"

"Carmilla!"

"WHAT"

"Calm down for five seconds and listen to me. This review is completely irrelevant. You know why? These people are run by old people, also you're in Utah. They're not your crowd, their entire news sections is about devil music to avoid and how to make sure your children don't masturbate. They don't matter, they never did"

 

There was silence on the other end, Laura quickly took this opportunity to click over to another tab. 

"Meanwhile, I'm going to read you the #SilasMonstersontour hashtag that has exploded with people who just went to your concert so sit down and listen to me"

Laura cleared her throat and began to read as somewhere in Utah, Carmilla sat on the toilet seat and listened. 

"Ricky from St. George said "Carmilla was on point~ #leatherpantslyfe"

Sam said "Danny is hot as hell that guitar solo gave me chills #Silasmonstersforever

Tia said "I lost my voice from screaming so much. Best concert of my life #Iwantcarmillasadoptedbabies #fuckmewithacatcus"

Laura's mouth fell open at that last one but finally Carmilla laughed, a beautiful sincere chuckle that sent a wave of warmth through Laura's body. 

"Yeah ok you get the idea. These are the people that matter, not those guys. Ok? You were amazing, you changed lives or made someone's week a little better" her words trailed off, realizing she had not uttered a single word the entire time as she counter ranted and let out a soft,"...Ok?" 

Carmilla smiled, she could hear it, possibly feel it the way she laughed gently,"....Thank you Laura"

Her face was on fire, it was on freaking fire.

"I uh...can keep going...if you want me to"

".....could you?"

_____________________________________

 

**[CARMILLA WHAT THE FUCK ]**

[Oh sweet it made it on time. What do you think?]

 

Laura wasted no time in taking a selfie with the box that was sent to her this morning. 

Within it, contained several autographed photos of each member of the band, a brand new poster and a bunch of cheesy keychains, mugs, and tshirt from every city they had been to so far.

**[what do I think did you just ask me that]**

**[this is amazing, i don't even know what to say you all look amazing!]**

**[Oh god are these from that photoshoot that hasn't come out yet?] - Laura**

She squealed, shifting through every item, reading every postcard that each band member sent to her to say a thing or two. Thanking her for watching out for them online, Will commented on her ability to keep Carmilla relaxed, Kirsch mentioned how happy he gets every time he hears about someone talking about him, Danny still wants her to ship herself to them and join them on tour.  

**[Ah...you know...I've been on and off second guessing myself if sending you pictures of myself was a good idea....] - Carmilla**

**[whatno no nono dont ever stop whats wrong with you. I may be your unofficial media person but I'm still a stupid nerd for you guys. send me all the things] - Laura**

 

_Carmilla has requested a FaceTime Chat with you_

 

Laura stared at her phone for a moment, this was new. 

Her heart thumped as she jumped for it, fussing with her hair and glancing in the mirror for anything in her teeth and tapped 'accept' and waited. 

"Hey"

Then there she was, on her phone screen looking tired, but happier than she was since the last time they were face to face. Just as beautiful as she remembered, Laura couldn't look away if she tried. 

"...h-hey"

Carmilla grinned, pulling her own phone away to reveal the entire band behind her as they screamed.

"HAPPYYYY BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAY"

"TO OUR BIGGEST AND BESTEST FAN EVER"

"WE MISS YOU"

"THANK YOU FOR BEING AWESOME"

Laura nearly tossed her phone as she laughed and covered her face, a random late night of texting 20 questions weeks ago and Carmilla remembered her birthday. 

"Oh my god you are all dorks and I love all of you" 

 

If she could somehow tell herself, a year ago today that she would one day be given the greatest birthday present in the world from the greatest band in the world. No amount of drugs would ever convince herself that it was real. 

* * *

** [HOW’D IT GO] - Laura **

Laura held her phone just centimeters from her eyes, waiting for her cue. Her leg bounced in her computer chair, her laptop was open with over ten tabs in a window. Each with some kind of article or video or live tweeting from other fans about the band.

Half way into the tour the Silas Monsters have reached a very important stop that could change everything if it goes well. Carmilla had been stress texting her for days. She couldn’t help but feel excited and nervous for them as well.

Exactly as planned, those three familiar dots appeared on her screen, indicating Carmilla was replying. Therefore free, for the moment, unless she was in the bathroom. (which did happen once before, Carmilla didn’t stop talking and Laura had no idea until the sound of flushing was heard on her end.)

Hoping that this wasn’t the case today, Laura quickly zipped to her favorites list in her contacts and called.

“HOW’D IT GO” she nearly yelled, letting out an entire days worth of excitement as she spoke.

Carmilla’s gentle laugh was heard first, luckily no flushing, “Good to hear you too”

“Come on Carm! How’s New York?!”

“Weather is drunk as hell but it’s pretty amazing so far”

Laura couldn’t stop smiling, she could hear how her voice fluctuates, she tries so hard to be cool but by now she could detect the excitement and happiness in her tone. A few months ago she would have never believed someone could feel indirect happiness like this. Each laugh and eager conversation about her day and the places she had been made Laura’s heart swell as if it were he experiencing these things.

“Ahhh I‘m so jealous. The blogs are and hashtags are going crazy. Everyone is crazy about you guys”

“Aw, you know we tr-”

“CARMILLAAAAAAAAA GET BACK TO BEEED”

Kirsch, she could recognize that fake whiney voice anywhere.

“BRING MORE LUBE”

Then there is Will, joining in.

“Oh my god….”

And poor Danny, probably rolling her eyes right about now.

“Go fuck yourselves for a bit longer sheeeesh” Carmilla grumbled.

Laura pressed her ear harder against the phone, catching faint hints of things being tossed around and bandmates laughing

“WILL DO”

“Ok we are relocating….move your ass Will!” she hissed, his cry of pain mixed with laughter became distant as she attempted to leave the room.

“HI LAURA WE MISS YOU CARMILLA MISSES YOU TOO” Kirsch called out, the sound of a glass door opening is vaguely heard as Carmilla shooed him away.

But Will was able to throw one last comment before the door was shut, “CARMILLA TOUCHES HERSELF TO YOUR PICTURES”

Oh. Ok then.

“AAAAAAND I’M LEAVING”

The door slammed shut. Moments passed in silence, beautiful silence that they share together.

“…so…..” Laura started, smile on her face and awaiting a response before her brain went into a dirty place.

“They are all liars. Everything that comes out are just evil lies”

Her voice was coupled with a breeze and faint beeping and sirens. She must be outside on the balcony of their hotel. In New York; the view must be amazing.

“Including the part where you missed me?” she teased, feeling brave now with her idol turned crush turned texting buddy now leveled up to phone call friend and on the edge of flirting every time they could.

“….ok that might be true…”

At some point she closed all of the tabs, the news articles and fan reviews no longer did anything for her. Not while she was talking to the real thing.

“Might be? Is there a West Coast girl that caught your eye already?”

“Hey, big stars gotta have a girl for every city you know” she laughed, it was contagious, Laura found herself giggling by herself in her room.

“You can’t even say that with a straight face don’t even give me that”

Laura glanced up at her dorm room wall where a small and very sad looking print out of the band was haphazardly taped above her desk. She smiled, a part of her very much unable to believe that she was speaking to the same person that was glaring and broody in the poor excuse for a poster.

Carmilla coughed lightly, fake but something to pretend to hide the words, “I…uh do miss you though…”

Thankfully Carmilla couldn’t see her right now.

Laura let out a gentle laughed and replied calm and cool, “I miss you too”

No one would know she was on the floor, curled in a fetal position with the biggest and dumbest grin on her face.

* * *

 

 

“Who is this girl?!”

“What. I don’t even get a hello?”

“Answer the question Carm!” she growled, she hadn’t stopped pacing back and forth since she heard the news.

“Wow I literally just stepped off stage how did you know that fast”

“Carm!”

“At this rate, you’ll probably see a video of the show in a few minutes”

“It’s already up and I saw it” she grumbled, glancing back at the video, posted just moments ago and she saw it five times already.

“Oh…well then”

“Carm…” she finally stopped pacing, pausing in front of her computer, watching a blurry 3 minutes video from somewhere in the second row. Carmilla standing on stage, doing her thing.

From her phone, she could make out the roar of the crowds last cheer died away, techs and bandmates talked around her but neither could hear them over the deafening silence. Beautiful silence.

“…did you like it?” she finally mumbled out.

Did she like….it…

Did she like waking up this morning, finding her twitter feed, facebook wall and every rock band article on the planet literally exploding before her eyes. Because Carmilla decided to do a special song, by herself, solo, for the first time, for a special girl, and refused to tell anyone who it was.

Did SHE like it.

Meaning it was as she thought and secretly hoped when she saw it the first time.

And so it was decided.

“I am going to kiss your stupid face the moment I see you”

She could safely assume Carmilla’s mouth was hung open in surprise, hers were, “…uh…”

But it was too late, she had to own up to it, the long distant flirting and the song dedication was too much for her fangirl and romantic heart.

“I..uh..said that out loud wow ok hm well…you know what..yes…yes that is exactly what I’m going to do when you come home”

Home. It felt like a strong word but it came out so naturally.

It took a moment, but finally she cracked, Carmilla let out a howling laugh, probably frightening the techs trying to clean up and go about their business.

“Oh my God…cupcake…sweetie, buy a lady dinner first”

“M…maybe I will!” she huffed, her cheeks puffed like an angry fish being attacked. It must have worked somewhere, Carmilla paused in shock for a moment.

“Did you just ask me out”

“…yeah…I did” she grinned, she beat her to it. The super cool rock star wanted to be the one but she beat her and it felt so good.

“…ok….yeah sure, I’m in”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah”

“Cool”

“Cool”

Laura was jumping on her bed, hiding her squeals.

She had no idea Carmilla was high fiving the others, hugging Perry and punching the air in victory.


	6. Tell The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I'm Coming Home_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few added things in this one that are different from the Tumblr version. Enjoy! Thank you for your support!

**BZZZT BZZZT  
**

  
“Hey ba-”

“ARE YOU BUSY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WHAT I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU REQUIRES YOUR COMPLETE ATTENTION”

Carmilla winced, pulling her phone away from her ear for a moment to recover. It wouldn't be the first time her ears rang from Laura's screaming. 

“Well I’m out of the bathroom if that’s what you’re asking”

“GOOD. LISTEN TO THIS”

She waited for a few moments of silence until a faded and even slightly static noise was heard, eventually recognizable notes of a song began to play. Carmilla blinked once, realizing the sound coming from her phone was in fact one of her own songs that she wrote not too long ago that would be on their next album.

Which meant it wasn’t technically out to the public yet, they were careful with it being leaked and downloaded illegally and only the radio stations had it and….

oh.

“….Fuck”

“YOUR NEW SONG IS PLAYING ON MY RADIO. YOU BETTER BE FREAKING OUT LIKE I AM BECAUSE HOLY CRAP”

Carmilla face and body felt numb, she struggled to step out and find a place to sit as she listened to Danny’s sick guitar solo rip through Laura’s stereo. Her wide eyed expression and slack jaw began to worry her bandmates who watched with confusion.

“Uh…dude….are you ok?”

Without another word, Carmilla pressed the speaker button.

“Radio. Laura. Canada. Us”

Immediately they scrambled out of their respective corners of the hotel room and crowded the cell phone she held out in the open for the world to hear. Their very first time being played on the radio.

“Uh. Carm? You alive? Or were you lying about the bathroom thing?”

Meanwhile on the other side of the continent, Laura had to pull her phone away from her ear as the entire band began to scream and yell in excitement, nearly blowing her little phone's speakers out.

“NERD HOTTIE. WE FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.”

Kirsch screamed into the phone, his voice cracked into a blubbering mess of what she assumed to be happy tears.

Laura pulled up her computer chair to sit by the radio that continued to play their song, apart of her wishing she could record this insane reaction but couldn’t bring herself to. Perhaps she was being selfish, wanting this moment to herself when other fans would have thoroughly enjoyed and some possibly paid to hear. But no, for now this was hers, not just as a fan, but for Carmilla.

Who remained utterly silent, but she smiled, just perfectly imagining the brooding girl sitting there in complete and utter shock. Maybe a tear? Probably, she’d never admit it though. But if countless nights and endless text messages told Laura anything, Carmilla wanted this more than life.

Laura remained there, holding the phone by the speaker of her radio with a sore arm and a smile on her face.

* * *

“Ok…I’ll text you later…yeah I’m good…tired from all the excitement…thanks again by the way….yeah….alright….bye….”

  
Carmilla lingered for a moment, waiting for the girl to hang up first before slipping her phone in her pocket, still warm from the hour long conversation.

Kirsch let out an obnoxious groan, slumped over the hotel bed while Danny flipped through the channels for the third time, “Will you two please have phone sex already. We can feel the sexual tension from here”   
  
She snorted, kicking Will’s dead leg from the couch. He groaned, his hangover and shot for shot challenge last night was definitely not a good idea. Especially against Danny. He curled up into the furthest section of the couch and proceeded to sleep as Carmilla lounged.

“And risk you all recording it and selling it to the masses? No thank you”   
  
Danny shrugged, “Hey it would fund our food for the rest of the tour”   
  
“Highly doubtful” Perry joined in, gently closing the door behind her,”Kirsch’s food intake is almost as much as plane tickets”

“That being said, we have a problem...”   
  


* * *

 

“We probably look weird right now huh?”

“Yep”   
  
Lafontaine never removed their eyes from their phone, they smiled every once and awhile in between texts. Very much like Laura right now.

The two sat on a bench outside of their next class, backs hunched over staring intently at their respective phones and texting to their respective crushes and/or long distance girlfriends/ future dating partner. It was only slightly complicated.

  
“So how’s Perry?”

“The usual, stressed out, running like a crazy ginger chicken who lost their head. I don’t usually get a lot of texting or call time with her but when I do it’s usually at the ass crack of dawn depending on the timezone and she rants and vents to me” Laf sighed, rubbing their tired eyes but still smiled passed it.

“But I love that stupid cra-…” their words trailed away as their phone buzzed uncontrollably,”…..zy girl who is calling me right now for some ungodly reason. Pardon me miss Hollis”

Laura laughed, watching them jump up and walk a few feet away, “You are pardoned”

She sighed and glanced down at her own phone, staring at the last message of **[BRB Perry Meeting]** not too long ago.

“Are….are you serious? Are you sure? I mean this is kinda….a big deal you know”

Laf was pacing, waving their free hand and pacing. Laura bit her lip, her eyes quickly switching between her phone and her friend in distress.

If they’re talking to Perry, and something was up, then it might involve Carmilla and the band. Which meant if that were the case then her mental capacity and emotional involvement with said band could be at stake.

“Uh…is everything ok?”

Laf sighed, placing a hand over the receiver to respond quickly,  “….you’re probably gonna find out in three seconds or less”

“…..Come on I need to know how emotionally prepared I need to b-”

**BZZT BZZT**

By now it was by second nature, the moment she felt it, her hand went up and thumb swiped, answering before it even came up to her ear.

“Hey Car-”

“I’m coming home”

She was right about a couple of things, which were that she was clearly not emotionally prepared and her heart rate was twice the pace and in her throat.

“W-wait what?! That's….holy…shit that's amazing but..the tour?! Isn’t it cut short?! I thought you still needed to go….but…that’s great because I can see you but that doesn’t mean you should put that before the tour because that’s crazy important to you and your life but oh my god I get to see you finally but the tour but I’m going to kiss your stupid sexy face and what about the others? What’s going on, Carmilla stop laughing at me and give me answers before I run out of breath!”

It took a moment for Carmilla to regain her composure, and to relocate out to the balcony as the entire band decided to call their loved ones about the news. After months of touring, traveling across the US visiting fans and performing nearly every night they were finally coming back home. A few weeks early, there was an unfortunate accident at the venue they would be performing in next. Something about bad pyrotechnics and the place going down, unimportant details for the task at hand.

“I’m going to see you”

* * *

It was possibly the slowest most grueling two days of Laura’s life, but she managed to keep her excitement and nervous leg hopping to a minimum. But the texting every second of everyday didn't help.

Neither slept as they excitedly planned what to do the moment Carmilla would return, finally after months of talking, would they resume where they left off or would Laura slink inward like the nervous fangirl she was when they last saw each other? 

**[Cats or dogs?]**

 

**[Cats. Not even a question. Dogs are gross]**

 

**[Well damn I don't know if we can make this work Carm]**

 

**[Oh shut up you don't even own a dog]**

 

**[But you do. His name is Kirsch and he's adorable]**

 

**[Oh my God what is it with you guys calling him a puppy]**

 

**[for the record, I started that and I will not apologize]**

Laura's phone flashed a photo of their first and so far only selfie together as Carmilla called, she looked at the photo fondly before swiping to answer. 

"I'm going to see you" she says, Carmilla sounds sleepy as one would at four in the morning. The soft rustle of blankets and pillows being rearranged for optimal phone talking position was heard, Laura smiled against the warm screen, it wouldn't be long before they fell asleep to each other's voices, it wouldn't be the first.  

"Yes you are" 

* * *

 

 

The day finally came and Laura's nervous leg bouncing returned with a vengeance as they not so patiently waited at the airport. Waiting for those final minutes she might as well be tap dancing the way her knee bounced nervously.

Accompanied by Lafontaine, Kirsch’s girlfriend, Will’s friends and Danny’s parents, they stood by the escalator where the band would appear at any moment. Everyone agreed to keep their arrival a secret.

But like most things that involve the internet, a large group of fans with signs welcoming the band home appeared out of nowhere. At some point security was forced to make a small quarantined zone for the fans, letting them watch but not much else. They didn’t seem to mind.

Laura silently watched them for awhile, wondering that without a doubt in her mind if she was not almost dating the lead singer right now she would most definitely be in that crowd right now. Life is funny like that.

“Hey keep up with the bouncing you’re gonna start a seismic event here”

Laf, who once again laughed alone at their joke, took a seat beside Laura, gently nudged her with their shoulder.

“You ok?”

“What do you think our sign would say?”

Confused at first, until Laf followed her gaze at the group of fans with large poster boards, painted with glitter and bats. Some with the basics, Welcome home, We missed you with Various lyrics.

“Hm…hard to say now that things are different…but knowing you, probably something super cheesy and adorable”

She puffed out her cheeks like a defensive fish,”Ok…says the person who spelled out Perry’s name with the Elemental table on the back of your notes”  
  
Laf’s cheeks matched the color of their hair.

“This doesn’t leave the airport”

Her laughter didn’t last long as said group of fans began to scream and a couple might have started crying.

Laura was on her feet instantly as the band slowly made their way down the escalator, they looked exhausted but brightened at the sight of fans and family.

There she was, clad in black and leather and sunglasses despite it being gloomy out, looking just as badass and beautiful as when she left. Just like old times, Carmilla was able to pick out Laura’s face in the crowd that formed at the bottom of the stairs.

The shades were off, eye contact was made and the cool was gone.

Unable to hold it in for ten more seconds, Carmilla jumped the last few steps and ran. Like a scene out of a dumb romance movie, Laura burst through the little crowd and met her in the middle of the airport.

Carmilla’s arms were out, awaiting a long over due embrace.

But Laura made a promise she intended to keep. The moment she was close enough, she reached out and grabbed a fist full of Carmilla’s shirt and pulled her into a rough sloppy kiss In front of everyone. You could hear the internet exploding, fans screaming in joy or despair and well over a hundred photos being taken in the short seconds it lasted.

She could feel her smiling against her lips that continued even after they parted.

The band split off to meet with their respective welcome home troupe and the fans continued to scream and clap.

Carmilla and Laura, after months of texting, calls and skyping finally reunited and physically touching, had no intention of removing themselves from their tight embrace and massive smiles.

“Hey”

“…Hey”


	7. Because I Fell in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _With the Girl at the Rock Show_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ENJOY! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

“Don’t tell me you’ve been feigning your adoration towards me just for this moment”

Laura paused, peaking just above the table with innocent eyes”…well…if you want me to be honest…” she grinned, ducking back down out of sight and continuing to empty her backpack.

It was strange, the last time they were face to face, Laura could barely utter a comprehensible sentence in her presence. Which, admittedly, was very enjoyable. Watching people squirm either out of fear or love, she felt like a tower.

But nearly six months worth of texting, phone calls and face time later, the once timid girl was here and throwing shade and sarcasm. As if no time had passed at all, they picked up right where they had left off. Carmilla didn’t stop smiling once.  

“God you’re lucky you’re cute” she laughed, leaning back and taking a quick swig of coffee as a notepad, and voice recorder were placed on the table.

She was not even home a full day when Laura demanded she fulfill her promise and take her out on a date. Carmilla’s bags from the entire tour and bass guitar remained in Laura’s car as they began their first date at a local coffee shop not too far from the concert center in which they met.

“Hey come on, think of this as payback”

“Payback?”

Laura nodded, readjusting herself and scooting in closer to the table,”Yes, for all the sleepless nights, late talks, timezone hell, forum moding, twitter stalker, tumblr tagging, texting and all that fun stuff when I could have been studying”

“No one asked you to be our social media manager cutie”

“Well of course, anyone else would have done it wrong!” she smiled sweetly, clicking her pen and opening her notebook to a fresh new page.

“Look, its for my final. If it’s good enough, it gets published in the local paper. You get a spotlight, I get a grade. Everybody wins”

This was new. Laura in business mode, ready to work with a smile and determination in her eyes. How could she say no to such a face.

“Alright then, hit me Miss Hollis”

The recorder was clicked on and so began like any other interview, with the usual questions.

“When did you start playing?”

“Have you always wanted to be a rock star”

“Family involvement”

“How did you meet the other band members”

“Favorite song”

Things she knew Laura already knew, whether it was for the sake of the recording and grade she didn’t know. But this wasn’t just another reporter from a 3rd class newspaper like before. This had to be special. 

Carmilla watched as eyes widened and eyebrows tensed as details were shared, things she had no idea, because Carmilla never told anyone.

Small things she failed to mention before, like starting to play out of high school and discovering her need to be on stage later in life, her mother’s pressure and borderline abuse, she always wanted a lawyer daughter. That being said the family involvement doesn’t exactly exist. As for how she met the others, every other interview states they met at a bar, which is technically true. However they actually met after a drunken brawl in said bar, hungover in prison for a day and decided to start a band.

“My favorite song? Like…that I’ve written?”   
  
“That’s usually a tough one for artists so I completely understand if you don’t have an answe-”

She laughed,”Oh no, I definitely have a favorite, I just finished writing it so it’s not out yet. But it’s definitely my all time favorite thing I have ever written…ever” she grinned, casually taking a sip as Laura silently bounced in her seat.

“Well then, I can’t wait to hear it!” she smiled uncontrollably, making her dimples extra cute, as she scribbled notes.

Carmilla watched her for a moment, lips were moving, asking another question but she couldn’t find the ability to pay attention.

Laura’s brows furrowed in concentration and determined eyes with a beautiful smile.

Seconds of silence passed before Laura finally looked up to find her staring intently, “Uh…Carm?”

“God you’re so cute”

Clearly unprepared for that one, Laura looked around herself. The coffee shop closed early on sundays, no one was around outside. Nothing but a blank bush behind her.

“Uh…?”

“No really, you’re fucking beautiful” she said this as if it were a fact, right next to the sky being blue and water was wet, “Writing that song was the easiest thing I had ever done”

Laura’s cheeks flared, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear, she giggled, looking anywhere else but Carmilla, who remained utterly still.

“I uh…oo…kk then uh…hm thank….you…uh” she coughed, finally stealing a glance to find Carmilla still smiling and still looking at her. Just her.

“That thing still on?” Carmilla nodded towards the small recording device still humming along.

“Well yeah I’ll edit this later, but don’t think for a minute that I’m going to delete that one”

A grin crawled across Carmilla’s face, she leaned forward until her chin rested on her fist,”So I don’t suppose we could possibly talk about that one particular night we had on the phone whe-”  
  
Laura’s face exploded into various shades of red as she immediately lunged out of her seat and scrambled for the recorder, “OHMYGOD”

Jamming the stop button, Laura glared up at the smug rock star,”….I thought we would never speak of that again…”

They may or may not have actually taken Kirsch’s sarcastic advice to heart and possibly had an intimate moment over the phone while the others were away and Carmilla had the room to herself.

“I had fun..” Carmilla’s smiled, giving the flustered reporter a wink before downing the rest of her drink.

“Yes well…I did too but could we not talk about it out in public?”

Regaining her composure, Laura sat back up and cleared her throat, a quick glance around to make sure they were in fact alone before mumbling,”….maybe we can talk about it…somewhere else”

Carmilla nearly choked,”AND ON THAT NOTE, is there anything else you would like to ask?” her seat turned out, ready to leave at a moments notice.

Laura shook her head and popped the record button back in, cheeks still burning red she grabbed her notebook and sighed,” So…then what’s next for you?”

Her face fell blank, debating whether to end this early for a very long awaited romp in the car or finally tell her.

Carmilla let out a small sigh and sunk back into her seat,”…I’ll tell you but…that thing needs to go off first”

Following her eyes, Laura stared at her innocent voice recorder for a moment. Then back up at Carmilla, who was nervously chewing at her lip.

“…Please?”

Without another word, it was swiped up and switched off. The small humming ceased; nothing but the breeze and Carmilla’s long sigh with fingers running through her hair.

“What’s wro-”

“I’m going solo”

Her mouth felt numb, finally saying it. Months of texting and calling, knowing what the the other was doing every minute of every day, she finally spilled out the one secret she swore had to be told in person.

Laura’s jaw dropped.

Carmilla’s fingers found each other, nervously intertwining as Laura struggled to find words. Which was expected, but if anyone deserved to know first, it would be their biggest fan.

“I…wh…oh my….God are you….serious?”

She nods slowly.

Unsure of whether to smile or be worried, Laura does a bit of both,”That’s…wow…insane but….I mean….did something happen on tour? It seemed like everything was going really well? Wasn’t it? Not that…you know it’s a bad thing but…is everything ok?”

Finally cracking a smile, Carmilla nodded, “It went great don’t me wrong. I love my stupid baby bandmates to death but…I guess…after being on the road with them, we learned a lot about each other more so than usual I mean….before we would play together, party, then at the end of the day go home to our lives. Now this has become our life and…I think I’m the only one who sees it that way”

She shrugged,“Kirsch is proposing to his girlfriend right now, with every intention of being a father. Will is still finding himself, poor bastard, and Danny saw the world and didn’t want to stop…In a weird way, the tour helped us grow up and learn what we really wanted and…I still want this more than anything”

She was doing it. She was actually so comfortable with this girl she is actually spilling her guts all over this table and Laura didn’t even bat an eyelash. Her smile and cute dimples just grew with each word. Now Carmilla was feeling intimidated, finding her boots easier to look at than Laura’s adorable face and sincere eyes.

“So…What’s next is that we are still figuring out how to break the news, maybe one last show here. Then…I guess…I’m on my own”

Carmilla almost jumped out of her skin feeling warm hands over her own, “Oh…my God wow…that’s crazy…I mean…it’s just so weird. You’ve all been together for such a long time”   
  
This was considerably nicer than holding an overheated phone after four hours on a phone call, Carmilla’s hand threaded with hers, “Yeah…it’s going to be weird but…I just feel like I need to do it you know?”

Were her cheeks hurting? From smiling this much and so big? Because Carmilla was sure hers were. Laura leaned in and pulled her hands up to her lips for a quick peck against her knuckles, “I’m so flipping proud of you”

“I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better experience, watching you travel and grow and…” she huffed, standing up suddenly and pulling her up with her.

“Finish your coffee, we’re making out in the car”   
  
“Oh thank God”

In two fluid motions, coffees were trashed, homework was thrown back into her bags and off they went. Backpack securely on her shoulder and arm around Laura’s waist, the two attempted to not look like they were in a hurry towards the car.

“I’m surprised at you cutie, you even cleaned your backseat for me”

“…how did you-….oh my God my selfies…” Laura gently placed her forehead on the car door in shame,”….i sent you selfies with trash in my backseat holy…crap I suck”

“Oh come on, you’re a college student, I would’ve been surprised if it wasn’t-”

“U-uh…C-Carmilla?”

A small voice gently called out behind her.

Laura peaked over the top of the car to find three teenagers, looking utterly terrified and excited at the same time. She knew this look very well.

“…yeah?”

One of them gently nudged the smallest girl forward, she gulped nervously, looking up at Carmilla like she could tear her head off at any moment.

She grinned as if she had fangs.

“Could you…uh..maybe…you know…if it’s not trouble…” the small girl somehow managed to choke out a semi comprehensible sentence while holding out the Silas Monsters CD in shaking hands.

“Anybody got a pen?”

She blinked once and send was offered four sharpies, one of which was Laura, who appeared to have jumped over the hood of the car to do so.

“….aaand do you have names?”

Laura hurled herself into her car to pull out a camera, “Anybody else getting flashbacks? No just me? Good” she laughed, climbing on top of her car, snapping photos like a thirsty reporter as Carmilla shook her head and signed everything the little group of fans had to offer.

“…uh so…are you…uh…THE girl?”   
  
Laura paused in mid click of the shutter to look down at the teenage boy questioning her.

“Oh…I don’t know…am I...THE GIRL Carmilla?” she reached out and poked the rock star in the back with her foot.

She huffed and swatted her leg away, “You are a brat I swear to God…”  
  
“That would be a yes good sir” she laughed.

Sometime later, after finding another place to make out, Laura will find a few photos posted online. One of the teens had been snapping photos from his phone during their mini autographing session with Laura on the car with her own camera.

She keeps one in particular, one where Carmilla is smiling up at her and just her.

* * *

Laura refused to watch from backstage, she watched every concert in her power from the first five rows and she had every intention of watching the last Silas Monsters concert that way as well.

The nice thing about being the lead singer’s girlfriend however, now she was front row and dead center.

Exactly one month ago, Carmilla and the band returned home from their successful country wide tour. Several days later, it was announced at the Silas Monsters were no more and Carmilla would be going solo from now on.

Of course the internet is…the internet, many blamed Laura for the break up. Some even found out about Lafontaine and there was a conspiracy theory going around that they were manipulating the entire thing from the inside. She didn’t blame them, if she wasn’t actively involved she would probably be doing the same thing. Sitting in her sweats in front of the computer, whining and crying, finding someone to blame for breaking up her precious band.

Tonight was their last concert, in their hometown, it sold out in minutes.

Perhaps it was because it was the last one, or that despite the crying, every single person in the venue was just happy to see them come back home. Regardless, the excitement and energy was through the roof. A small mosh pit might have happened that Laura might have started for old times sake.

“Last song losers” she said, her voice booming with authority into the mic and over the speakers. The entire stadium let out a loud and unified wail. Laura found herself joining in

She shook her head, strumming her axe once, releasing a deep growl, instantly silencing the crowd, “Yeah yeah come on put your big kid panties on, I promised this one for a cute girl”

Carmilla looked down off stage and winked straight at Laura.

Thankfully she was in the front row, otherwise everyone would have seen her beaming smile and beat red blush for miles.

For the last time, Carmilla turned around and looked at the band.

A beautiful golden ring on Kirsch’s finger, Danny with a gorgeous hand woven necklace from a street vendor in Seattle and Will sporting a necktie that will be worn into his new office.

“Well…” she let out a long breath, running her hand through her hair with a sad smile, she refused to cry in front of these people. But the others knew better, but most importantly, they knew.

In beautiful harmony, she spun around and all of them slammed down on their instruments at the same time for one last time.

_Can’t count the years on one hand that we’ve been together_

_I need the other one to hold you_

_Make you feel, make you feel better_

_It’s not a walk in the park to love each other_

_But when our fingers interlock, can’t deny, can’t deny, you’re the worth it_

_‘Cause after all this time_

_I’m still into you_

_I should be over all the butterflies but I’m into you, I’m into you_  
__  
And even baby our worst nights __  


_I’m into you, I’m into you_

_Let 'em wonder how we got this far,_

_'Cause I don’t really need to wonder at all_

_Yeah, after all this time_

_I’m still into you_

The entire stadium was on it’s feet, shaking its walls with jumping and screaming, welcoming the new song with open arms. All but one.

Laura kept both feet planted on the floor, ignoring the partying happening on each side of her. She couldn’t find it in her power to do anything but stare and listen.

Of course she was a fan, one of the biggest. But this was different, it was as if listening to Carmilla sing for the first time all over again. Like falling in love all over again, her voice beautiful and smooth with a roaring bass, shaking her very core.

Laura stared and smiled up at her and only her.

And she smiled back.

* * *

“Gods….that was an after party for the ages….” Carmilla downed the last jello shot she stole from Danny when she wasn’t looking.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not going to be able to play here anymore after how you guys trashed that green room…” Laura giggled, only slightly tipsy but just wanting to stay close to Carmilla’s side, she could keep her own balance if she wanted to. Just chose not to right now.

“Which is probably why we should move along, its smoke break time”

As promised, the Silas Monsters had one last bash for old time’s sake and to wish everyone good luck on their own adventures. The green room was in fact turned upside down because who could stop drunken rock stars with beer, shots and pizza for days. Even Perry was too smashed to care, luckily Laf was sober enough to apologize to the management and give information to send the charges to. Eventually the party ended with photos and tears, the group went their separate ways to start their own lives.

Tossing the empty plastic cup aside, Carmilla tugged the girl along, down a very familiar alley way.

“Hey…isn’t that the lamppost I ran into?” she laughed while lifting up a lit lighter up to Carmilla’s cigarette and hung from her lips, oh the smiling just couldn’t stop. She was already catching on and Carmilla was just loving it.

Up ahead, sure enough the dimly lit lamp post stood tall and proud. Where Laf shoved her out and nearly fell into the street if she had no caught herself on it.

“This is where we met, would you look at that…”

Laura rolled her eyes and planted her feet, forcing them to a stop just before the wall turned into sidewalk.

“Ok ladykiller, if you could just…” she offered a lopsided grin, a few shots suddenly making her feel rather brave right now as she reached up and plucked the white beanie from Carmilla’s head to place on top of her own,”….stop and kiss me right now that would be great”

Plucking the cigarette from her lips, she grabbed the front of her shirt and yanked. Their lips crashed into each other, Carmilla’s mouth still full of smoke escaped and blew into the wind between them, some even sucked out and into Laura’s. It happened so quickly Carmilla could only stand there, looking dumbfounded and extremely hot and bothered at the sight of a half lidded Laura releasing smoke gently from her parted lips.

“Oh my God please tell me the car is nearby”

Clearly impatient, the cigarette was not mourned as it was snuffed out on the wall Laura was being shoved up against.

“That song was beautiful” she managed to gasp out, learning very quickly that Carmilla was in fact, a biter. Of course right where the last markings were just about to heal.

“Nice thing about it..” she purred against her neck, her hands finding their way under her shirt, gently dragging blunted nails across her back, “I could sing it tomorrow or in ten years and it will mean the same”

Laura’s hands untangled themselves from her dark curls, dropping to her sides, “Do you mean that?”

At this she stopped, standing up right where Laura was now sober and very serious.   
  
“Of course I-”  
  
“Carm you’re going solo, just you and the world” her warm hands gently cupped her face, insuring she would not look away, not from this one,” You’re going to travel and see the world and see people who love and adore you and would do anything for you”

 _Will I still matter to you?_  
  
“Do you mean that” 

She smiled, gently removing her hands in a soft grasp and kissed the back of both while keeping eye contact, “Yes. I do”   
  
Letting out a puff of hair she was holding in, she leaned back against the wall and sighed in relief, “Good because I’m going with you”

Oh the look on her face.

“…you…what”

Priceless.

With a grin she picked up from the smug rock star, Laura twirled a strand of dark hair around her finger and tugged her closer, “You’re going to have to kiss me better than that,  _cutie_. I’m your new publicist”

There was no time to react, Carmilla wrapped her arms around her middle and lifted her up, laughing uncontrollably. Laura squealed, clinging to her shoulders as she spun around a couple of times while repeatedly kissing her face. It was probably a safe bet that Carmilla was very much ok with this.

The spinning eventually stopped around the time Laura’s hand found their way back in her hair and lips back where they should be. Laura also found herself back against the wall and both legs wrapped securely around Carmilla’s waist.

The smallest motions sent Laura into a panting mess against her ear, her body might as well be on fire, “If your car isn’t within a 30 second walk I am fucking you against this wall” she growled into between bites just under her jaw.

Her hands fumbled into the pockets of her hoodie, the moment the clinking of keys were heard, Carmilla unpinned her from the wall and off they went. This time, very much not caring that they were awkwardly speed walking to the only car left in the parking lot.

While Laura struggled to find the right key to unlock it,“….did you move the front seats forward…?”

Clearly Carmilla was not the one who decided on after party activities.

The car door swung open finally, Laura hopped in and reached out, grabbing a fistful of her jacket and pulled,“In the car now please”

With barely enough time to pull the door closed behind them, they finally made it to a place of privacy to reenact their intimate phone call.

“Now” Laura let out a loud gasp, clinging and nails digging into her arms as Carmilla’s hand went straight under the belt of her jeans without warning,”It’s your turn to sing”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm Still Into You - Paramore


	8. I Should Be Over All The Butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _But I'm Into You_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL. NEW AND OLD READERS OF MY LITTLE ROCK BAND AU. IT WAS FUN TO REVISIT THIS AND FIX THINGS. KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR MORE AUS FROM ME. HAPPY HALLOWEEN

“Dude go”  
  
“Hell no you do it”

“Are you fu…Sarah you freaking told me that you wanted to see it with your own eyes. You told me you’d KILL TO SEE IT”

“I was caught up in the moment ok!?”

“She is right there and she is leaving and when are you going to get this chance again!?”

Sarah went blank, turning back around, just barely catching a glimpse of a power suit and light brunette hair speed walking into the crowd.

“ohfuckmylife” she groaned and took off before her brain realized what she was doing.

Colliding into a few people, mumbling apologies and ‘excuse me’s and ‘please for the love of God move this is my destiny’ before she could stop herself any further, she tapped on the woman’s shoulder just before entering the back stage entrance where two large security guard glared down at her.

“Yes?”  
  
“I uh…ok I dont want to…be a ….” she gulped, brain now catching up and finally settling in on what exactly she was doing with her life but it was too late to back out now, nervously wringing her hands together she looked up and asked, “Can I see the ring please?”

The woman smiled, waving off the security guards who seemed intent on smashing the tiny frightened fan and brought up her left hand. Where a beautiful diamond sat on a thick black band.

“Whoa…Is that actual black metal”   
  
She nodded and laughed, “Yeah that was my face when she told me too”

Clearly a ring fit for a Rock Star’s wife.

“I think they’re letting people in, you might want to-”

She paled, hopping back, was she breathing on her hand? “Oh crap I’m sorry I just…wow that’s amazing and beautiful and uh….thank you!”

With that, she ran off, no amount of HD photos could compare to seeing the real thing. The single solitary item on the planet that sent millions of fans into a crying frenzy, that would later be a muse to produce the billboard’s top songs and best selling albums.

As a fan, the least she could do was turn back and shout just before Laura Karnstein went inside:

“Happy anniversary!”

* * *

Upon hearing the usual graces and the crowd screaming until their lungs were sore, Laura put aside her laptop and quickly made her way off stage. She hopped up the stairs just as Carmilla handed her mic and bass to a tech.

“Excellent as per usual Mrs. Karnstein”

Carmilla’s eyes lit up at the sight of wife, water bottle and towel,“Hey you made it!”

A towel which intercepted her incoming hug and kiss,”You’re sweaty and gross, smooching later”

A few congratulatory comments went their way as the two, hand in hand, walked through backstage, ducking and weaving through busy technicians packing up and loading up to move on to the next stop on their worldwide tour.

“How did you manage to make it? I thought for sure that interview and meeting business would be a combo breaker”

Laura shrugged nonchalantly,”I guess I have a little more power than I thought. I’m pretty sure they know heads would roll if I missed a performance on our anniversary”

Whether she was there mentally or not, Laura so far had been present at every single concert, radio event, small stage performance Carmilla had ever attended since being her publicist. She had no intention of breaking that streak, a few deals and bribes were made to make it happen.

“You’re kind of amazing, you know that?” she grinned from ear to ear, slipping a hand around her waist and pulling her close for obnoxious kisses on her cheek.

“Yeah yeah well, you know these contest winners could say the same about you”

Stepping head and opening the door, Carmilla was greeted by cheers and screaming. Laura sat back and snapped photos for their farewell to London as selfies were taken, autographs were made, drinks and questions were asked.

Just another Wednesday night for the Karnsteins.

* * *

“We should come back some time, I can’t get enough of this view”

Carmilla placed her chin on her shoulder, following her gaze over the city of London. From the highest balcony in probably the single fanciest hotel they had ever been in so far, drinking from a champagne glass that probably could have paid off Laura’s college loans.

Her hand slipped around her waist, holding her close,”Anything you want”

Anything she says.

Laura took another look at her surroundings that might as well have been coated in gold in her eyes.

“Well gee, I don’t know. I think I’m rather content as of right now” she sighed, leaning back into her embrace.

Carmilla sighed happily, placing a small kiss on her shoulder before stealing the glass from her hand, “Would a five year anniversary gift be acceptable?”

Laura huffed, watching the rest of it be downed over her shoulder, “I assumed the champagne that could buy three houses, with fancy dinner also worth a house and the promise of sitting around the vicinity of your face was my present?”

With said champagne was now gone, Carmilla gently grasped her hand and tugged her back inside their massive hotel room.

“One more, then we can move on to that last one” she grinned, offering a slight eyebrow wiggle while patting the bed.

For the tenth time since their arrival, Laura jumped on the bed face first, immediately absorbed into the plush blankets and over fifteen pillows. She might have made a small fort while Carmilla was away.

“So…yeah you know I’m good with the feelings but….” At this, Laura immediately sat up just Carmilla sat at the edge of the bed, “….I found this awhile ago”

In her grasp was a small thin square wrapped in red shiney wrapping paper, rather poorly done which usually meant she did it herself.

Taking the small thing, she made quick work of the wrapping paper. What was within, despite it’s size, suddenly felt heavy in her hands.

“oh my….God Carm you…”

The paper stock was on the verge of falling apart, old tape barely keeping its seams together, and faded printed goat logo on the front where the only thing clearly visible was an old signature in sharpie with a phone number.

_Text me cupcake_

The garage band Silas Monsters cd that Carmilla signed the night they met.

“I thought I lost this during the move” she whimpered, tears spilling out with no restraint with the biggest smile and the biggest eyes, Carmilla was melting.

“I love you so damn much, I can’t even….tell you how much this means…to us. Thank you” she laughed, wiping the stray tears from her cheek before leaning in and placing a quick peck on her cheek.

“Ok…my turn…don’t know if this will top it but hey I tried ok?” Laura smiled, patting the bed beside her, the two quickly switched spots.

Carmilla kicked off her boots and jumped on as Laura hopped up and off. Letting out a long groan, the very exhausted rock star melted into the blankets and pillows, making no indication of moving anytime soon. Her eyes slipped shut, just barely able to make out the sound of a suitcase being zipped open, some rummaging and minor cursing before being zipped up again.

Opening one eye, she found Laura bounding over with a smile on her face and something familiar in her hands.

“…is that your old phone?”

Nodding, Laura jumped back onto the bed beside her, shoes and power pants long gone in exchange for fuzzy socks and sweats, “Want another blast from the past?”

“Please don’t say that again you dork”

“Oh shush and look”

Handing the phone over, Carmilla sat up and glanced at the screen, it was crack in a few places and was at its fifth case the last time she checked. One of the first things she bought for Laura was a new phone after her first album flew off the shelves. The second thing she did was actually pay off her student loans. Why she still had it was beyond her, until she realized the date of a particular text message.

_[Break a leg -Cupcake]_

“Oh my God you still have our first conversation you adorable nerd”

_[If it’s anything like last weeks show, yeah that won’t be a problem] - Carmilla 4:34 pm_

“Oh sure yours is the most romantic thing but I come in here with a six year old text message I never deleted and suddenly I’m the nerd?”

_[I still have bruises] - Laura 4:35 pm_

_[You still coming?] - Carmilla 4:35pm_

_[Come hail or high water] - Laura 4:36pm_

_[See you then] - Carmilla 4:36pm_

_[Have a good show] - Laura 4:40pm_

_[Thanks cutie] - Carmilla 4:41pm_

She laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close,“Time just flies by huh?”

Laura sighed, curling close to her side with her head on her shoulder, her hand found a matching thick black band on Carmilla’s finger, “Yeah” she mumbled, gently stroking the ring.

Finally for the first time that day, it was silent. After running around, signing things, talking to the media, making plans, performing, keeping a smile on and keeping up a badass act. The two dissolved into the silence.

“Still want to take a seat?” Carmilla mumbled through a sleepy gaze, fingers found their way into Laura’s hair, lazily dragging them through.

“Mmyeah…but maybe later” the pillows and thick blankets were too powerful to overcome, Laura buried her face in the crook of her neck and mumbled,” Sing for me?”

Perhaps one last free concert for the evening was acceptable.

Placing a soft kiss to her forehead, she wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and sang a song she wrote years ago. About a girl she knew she could sing this to for years to come.

_I should be over all the butterflies but I’m into you, I’m into you_  
  
_And even baby our worst nights_ __  


_I’m into you, I’m into you_

_Let ‘em wonder how we got this far,_

_‘Cause I don’t really need to wonder at all_

_Yeah, after all this time_

_I’m still into you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIL NEXT TIME
> 
> THANK YOU!!!


End file.
